As a Life Strategist, I’m more interested in what we, as individuals, do on a personal basis to successfully grapple with experiences that kick us in the gut and leave us bruised and wounded. At this trying time, one strategy seems to emerge most useful and hopeful in my mind. The strategy is based in enduring, consistent results. The strategy is what I call “grounding.”

Let’s consider an infant’s toy. In particular, imagine a bath ball that one could bat from side to side. However, no matter how much it wobbles, it won’t tip over. A weight inserted at the base of the toy acts as a grounding force that keeps it constantly returning to an upright position no matter the force exerted against it. A similar grounding can be observed inside every stable and successful person I’ve had a chance to get close to.

This past summer for example, I watched Karla Williams, a profitable entrepreneur who owns two small businesses say good-bye to a giant of a man, her father. Karla’s father was more than a dad. He was a mentor and a symbol of strength and excellence in her life and work. Today, Karla is moving forward with resolve and persistence. When asked what kept her sane and able to endure his loss, she referred to her faith. Her heartache was raw, the pain intense. With one hand holding onto the rod of her faith, she let her father go, believing that he is still watching over her. Karla wobbled, but she didn't fall down.

I’ve long admired the way Rich Tafel, the premier political strategist in Washington D.C., handles tough challenges. Whether he is standing up to Jerry Falwell on CNN's Larry King Live or deciding not to lie about being gay during his ordination process, Rich is grounded and holds true under fire. When I asked him how he does this, again he like Karla sited faith as a firm part of his equation. He goes on to explain his stabilizing strategy: “I am not out to win a popularity contest. I share what I think is true and do it with humility. I also keep in mind what I want my results to be. For example to ’win’ a debate I work to win over the audience, not my opponent. I become empathetic to the audience and remain calm and cool. I have an overall plan.”

On the 8th of January I received a call that my 10-year-old niece, Madison, was found face down, limp, and blue in her bed. By 1:00 pm on the 9th, she had passed away. I can’t explain the experience of watching my brother and sister-in-law and our parents breakdown over the drastic loss. I can tell you that throughout the family and within a close-knit circle of friends a peace of mind came. The message to us was that this was Madison’s time to go and she needed us to let her go. This message did not heal the pain. It did not fill the gap left by her little presence. It did not stop the tears. We wobbled and her parents were pushed to the limits of tipping over. However, this simple and deeply felt message of “I need to go” was a golden thread of truth, a grounding element to hang onto.

No one can stop bad things from happening. We all face challenges and tragedy on some level. The key to wobbling and not falling over is this: We must have a grounding force inside us at all times and each person’s SoulSalt or grounding elements must and will be unique. When turmoil hits, it is those who have something substantial inside who will endure. I believe that enduring isn’t about “hanging in” or “hanging tough.” I define enduring as having something greater than self in your heart and soul during the hard times.