Let me explain how I discovered the strategy. The narrative will help you understand the tool and how to apply it to your life. You see it was way back in my ancient history after several years of marriage and three beautiful children later I experienced a messy, ugly divorce. A few of you readers have had similar experiences. Sadly, during my divorce process the soon-to-be-ex-husband acted out. He began stalking me. At night he lurked in the bushes next to my home. I became afraid and overly fatigued from loss of sleep and worry.

A co-worker noticed the growing dark circles under my eyes, the furrows in my brow and several extra grey hairs. She got a baby-sitter, took me to dinner, and asked me the two questions that I have used to move from impoverished single parent to successful entrepreneur. The first question she asked was, “What do you really, really need most right now?” I sputtered and blinked. I couldn’t remember another adult looking so sincerely into my eyes and asking that questions. At the time I blurted, “I need a watch dog to watch over me and warn me in time should something awful be about to happen.” We then made plans how to get the dog. She said, “Very good Lyn. Now I'm going to ask you an even tougher question. What do you really, really want most right now?” At that time, I couldn’t answer the question. I hadn’t stretched my paradigms far enough to be in touch with my wants. However, since that dinner conversation I’ve answered both questions again and again when I feel like I’m standing in the dark. Like a mighty flashlight, the questions and their answers have safely and securely seen me around the dimly lighted corners and turns of life.

Let’s first clarify exactly what a need is before you try this strategy at home. Realize that needs must be met. Your lawn for example needs water, trimming, sunshine, and occasional fertilizer or it will die. You could go out and negotiate with your lawn. However, if the needs of the lawn don't get met, you eventually face a consequence. Needs that go unmet produce tangible, sometimes immediate consequences. Needs are to be met, not negotiated. Can you think of a few loose ends you have around your home or your office? Well, those are probably needs that are calling out for you to meet them. Take care of the need today. What I promise will happen is that you’ll return a section of your life to a place of stability and sanity. This action will open up room for you to ask the next question and get in touch with what you really want.

Wants are our visions of grandeur. They are our dreams. Those ideas that send us grabbing onto the tails of comets. They are the big hairy audacious goals that Jim Collins mentions in his book From Good To Great. These are the very things that if we reach for them, they plug us into passion and purpose. More often than not, these are the things that you are reticent to expose. However, I promise that when we do proclaim them and pursue our wants with persistence, we find ourselves going places you've never been before.

So I offer you this shiny little strategy and I promise you that the answers to the needs and wants questions above are for real. If you identify one need and one want, and if you’ll take action this very week to meet the needs and reach out for the want, you’ll take yourself places in this coming year that you’ve only before dreamed possible.