JUNE 2007     

Stuck in “Grasp”
Lyn T. Christian, PMP, MCC, CFCC 

They call it the “grasp reflex.” It is the instinctive capacity we all had as infants where we grabbed onto just about anything within our reach. It is a useful skill to be born with. Most of us have found it handy in adulthood as well. One example is keeping our hands firmly gripped to the steering wheel as we maneuver through a tight curve in the road. Making a fist and holding our tongue at a moment when the wrong words could ignite incorrect and irretrievable messages is another.

However, as good things go, we often overuse them. If we take them to an extreme, we can destroy the benefits of the original endowment. See if you’ve experienced the any of the following:

  • You feel overwhelmed so you hang on tight. It’s only later that you realize that letting go, even in a small way, would have relieved a large amount of pressure.
  • You want to let go. You really do. You go so far as to decide to let go and find yourself wondering if you ever learned how.


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  • You believe that if you do let go you’ll spin off into the abyss of chaos and lose all control.

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Bingo! We just hit the root of being stuck in grasp mode. We want too much control. It is the wanting of too much control that gets us stuck. This kind of wanting also results in discomfort.

Let me share a quick way to free yourself from being stuck. I recently experienced the Sedona Method with Suzanne Mark, a local practitioner. I’ve adapted this from her work for you:

  • First, become aware that you are feeling stuck. You may even hear yourself saying, “I feel stuck.”
  • Second, ask yourself what it is that you are wanting. What are you holding onto so tightly? Listen to yourself and take note. Keep mulling it over or discuss with someone you trust until you are clear on what it is that you are wanting. Perhaps it will occur to you that you want to be safe, or you want to be loved, or maybe you want clarity.
  • Once you are clear, sit with the feeling and let it sink in deeper and deeper until you are filled up with the intensity of what you are wanting. Let it get to a boiling point. Notice where the sensation of wanting has landed most in your body. Concentrate on that area.


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  • Then, ask yourself, “Would I be willing to give up the wanting of in order to just have what is?” No matter if you answered “yes” or “no” you’ve already started to give up the wanting and being stuck.


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  • If you answered “no” go back through the steps until you are willing to say “yes” to the letting go of the wanting.


  • When you get to “yes” repeat in your mind, “Okay I’m willing to let go of wanting and I’ll do it now.” Right at the moment you say “now,” push on the table or the chair you are sitting on. Push on the wall next to you or a book. Push as if you have just pressed the button that drains all that emotional heaviness and stuck feelings away.


  • Feel the release.

    • For more information on the Sedona Method look for the book by the same name and authored by Hale Dwoskin. Or connect with Suzanne Mark at suzanne@suzannemark.com.

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