As adults, have you ever entered into a personal or professional relationship that looked great until you carried it along for a while? Have you picked business partners and friends who seemed to have great attributes that you enjoyed and needed at the time only to find out it perhaps wasn't the “right” person for your life? Have you committed yourself to something, took it home and wished you could hit the rewind or erase button real quick?

What I’ve found to be true for picking sticks can also be true for picking people. When we engage in relationships, we get both ends whether we want what comes with the other person or not. It would be nice if I could just leave this article with that, if I could just say, “We would all do well to notice what is on both ends before we are picking sticks and people.” However, life isn’t that easy. We have to encounter a few undesirables before learning to fully examine both ends. Let me share wisdom delivered from people far more experienced than I. I’ve adapted their words to fit the “stick” metaphor. My hope is that we’ll remember these, and in times of choosing, one or two might whisper back to us so we pick carefully before we embrace.

“Pick up sticks that generate new energy at both ends. This new energy is usually generated by a confluence of ideas, knowledge, and intelligences exhibited over time, not all at one single moment in time.” Adapted from Stephen M. Dent, Partnering Intelligence.

“Thinking for yourself if you want what is on both ends of a stick is something we must bring to education. We need to pass that skill on to younger generations.” Adapted from Odetta, age 69, Wise Women.

“Whenever you’ve just finished spending time with a particular stick, ask yourself, Do I feel better or worse than I did before? No long explanations, no equivocations. Take time to tally up the results in terms of pluses and minuses. Pretty soon, everything you need to know about this stick will begin to seem very clear.” Adapted from Francine Prose, Trust Your Gut Reactions, “O, the Oprah Magazine,” May 2005.

“You don't need to be the best in class at stick picking. Like an Olympic decathlon, the object is to achieve true excellence in a few areas of stick picking, and strength in many areas of stick picking.” Adapted from Tom Kelley The Art of Innovation.

Good luck and happy picking.