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What picture appears in your mind when I say the word “vacation”? Freeze your image right there. Now compare your picture with those found in other brains: a lady in Indiana sees herself lounging poolside at Disney World. A gentleman from Texas is staring at a breath taking vista of the Rocky mountains near Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Someone else is sipping a Corona and watching the waves in Maui. Did any of these pictures exactly match the image in your mind? The better chance is that no two pictures were identical, even though I gave you all the same word,

Some of us are aware that the words we speak invoke a variety of pictures and therefore we’ve trained ourselves to ask such questions as; “When you say going out to dinner, what do you mean?” We do this to clarify meaning, and better understand if we’re headed to the five star Tree Room or a local McDonalds. Some of us do not ask for “pictures” and we lose not just important details but the chance to connect, excel, succeed, or even just be satisfied with the outcomes.

For example, I sat with a client who was catching me up on the details of her recent trip to San Francisco. The client said, “This vacation has been the best one we’ve ever had.” I inquired as to what she meant by “best one we’ve ever had.” The client paused and said, “The time away helped me remember the value of mine and Ellen’s relationship.” I knew the client had hit a vein of thought worth its weight in gold. I asked, “When you say ‘value of your relationship’ what are you seeing in your mind?” The client took a moment to think and said, “ I mean we had a chance to connect and share thoughts. Like her belief and confidence in me. I connected again to the patience she offers me. And, by spending this time together I remembered that she is the one that truly understands me.” I encouraged my client to share these little snapshot details with her partner. They are full of potential that could be replicated. Another “great vacation” can’t occur again if the other person doesn’t “get” what “great” means.

Let’s see an example of this concept in another setting. A local salon was training a new assistant. While she was shampooing my hair, both the owner and a young stylist supervised. The “shampoo experience” is a big deal in this salon’s culture. I was encouraged to describe my experience and to give feedback to the Trainee. I responded with comments like, “The water is on the edge of being too hot,” and “It’s ok to use more pressure on my scalp.” The trainee made appropriate adjustments. The owner was delighted.

As we end this article, I reflect on an experience that just occurred. While exploring a new coaching opportunity with a strategic marketing consultant, he stopped me mid-sentence and asked, “Lyn, when you say strategic marketing plan, what do you mean exactly?” I smiled a huge, broad grin. I realized yet again that just because we “say” the same words as another person, we can’t afford to assume we are “seeing” the same images. You’ve heard it said, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” sometimes the pictures in our minds can be worth thousands and thousands of dollars.

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